Tough Love

From the Book: Who Will Cry When You Die by Robin Sharma

The golden thread of a highly successful and meaningful life is self – discipline. Discipline allows you to do all those things you know in your heart you should do but never feel like doing. Without self – discipline, you will not set clear goals, manage your time effectively, treat people well, persist through the tough times, care for your health or think positive thoughts.

I call the habit of self – discipline “Tough Love” because getting tough with yourself is actually a very loving gesture. By being stricter with yourself, you will begin to live life more deliberately, on your own terms rather than simply reacting to life the way a leaf floating in a stream drifts according to the flow of the current on a particular day. As I teach in one of my seminars, the tougher you are on yourself, the easier life will be on you. The quality of your life ultimately is shaped by the quality of your choices and decisions, ones that range from the career you choose to pursue to the books you read, the time that you wake up every morning and the thoughts you think during the hours of your days, when you consistently flex your willpower by making those choices that you know are the right ones (rather than the easy ones), you take back control of your life. Effective, fulfilled people do not spend their time doing what is most convenient and comfortable. They have the courage to listen to their hearts and to do the wise thing. This habit is what makes them great.

“The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do,” remarked essayist and thinker E.M. Gray. “They don’t like doing them either, necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.” The nineteenth – century English writer Thomas Henry Huxley arrived at a similar conclusion, noting: “Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.” And Aristotle made this point of wisdom in yet another way: “Whatever we learn to do, we learn by actually doing it: men come to be builders, for instance, by building, and harp players, by playing the harp. In the same way, by doing just acts we come to be just; by doing self – controlled acts, we come to be self – controlled; and by  doing brave acts, we come to be brave.”

Death; what many fail to understand

I know at the mention of death, most of you are suddenly engulfed by the fear of uncertainty. In fact, it is a topic most of us dread and often times would do anything to shrug off. Because it is generally thought you could be welcoming a misfortune.

Yet the more I think about death, the more I get peace in my soul. The more I am rejuvenated to attend to my purpose. The more I understand why I am here. For behold, whether you think about it or not, it shall surely come. Yes I just said; you shall die some day. We all shall and I need not to persuade you on this. Actually, when my father died in late 2011, I found myself at crossroads. I thought a lot about him and would fantasize at times wondering where he might have gone. So my journey to know the truth about death began.

[Ec 3:1-2]  To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; (KJV)

As real as death is, so ought we to be factual about it.  What actually happens when we die? Perhaps this may be mistaken for a rhetoric question just because no one has gone and come back. Nevertheless, as one who esteems the bible as a true witness of the word of God, I believe the bible has all the answers we need to know.

What actually is death? Death is simply a separation of the body and the inner person who is the real you. It is the coming to an end of the life of the body. It is the passage from earth to glory for those who believe in Jesus Christ. It is a necessary step, I would say.

That is still not enough a definition! It is important I mention that death is twofold. There is physical death and spiritual death. How do I know this? Well let’s read Ephesians 2:5;

Even when we were dead (slain) by [our own] shortcomings and trespasses, He made us alive together in fellowship and in union with Christ; [He gave us the very life of Christ Himself, the same new life with which He quickened Him, for] it is by grace (His favor and mercy which you did not deserve) that you are saved (delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ’s salvation). Amplified Version

The kind of death referred above is a spiritual death. Spiritual death is separation from God. It derives its power from sin. Though the physical death has not occurred, the scripture says we were dead as long as we were in sin. Yet we received life through salvation but still not immune to physical death! Look at the next scripture in 1 Cor 15: 55-57;

O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? Now sin is the sting of death, and sin exercises its power [upon the soul] through [the abuse of] the Law. But thanks be to God, Who gives us the victory [making us conquerors] through our Lord Jesus Christ. [Amplified Version]

When Jesus Christ came he declared he was the way, the truth and the life  [John 14:6]. This life being talked about here is the God kind of life which is eternal and spiritual. This means anyone without this kind of life is dead.